Still here, I am

Wow. How I missed my Mariposa so much. She has been abandoned. 

My last post was in 2013. Three years. How I have been a busy bee. 

Things happened, happens, are happening and will happen. Life has been wonderful. At times, it was rather rough. I am wondering what life has in store for me. I am praying for good years ahead. 

Thank you Allah for the utmost gift, a daughter, on my forth wedding anniversary. Since then, life has never been busier yet happier. Thanks for everything. I coudnt thank You more as You have showered me with Your infinite love. I know You are always there. 

I am very happy that I am writing for my Mariposa again. And of course I am looking forward to writing more. It is just a matter of time. 

Till then, nitey nite world. Sleep tight, sweet dreams. 😘

o ale ale

was in a meeting this morning, that ended at 1.30 pm. thank God it was not that long. my body was there, but my mind was somewhere else, not in the meeting room haha. in darul makmur stadium, i guess.

tonite is the night, when our pahang team will play against sarawak team. oh tok gajahku, please do your best. my prayer is with you.

was a bit nervous actually as tonite's will be an important game, the first leg of semi final. so, no goal from the opposition is expected. or else, they will have the advantage for having score di tempat lawan.

hoping for the best. put all my hope in pahang's eleven heroes. 

all the best tok gajah.

"bangkitlah

 kita raih juara

 kita raih juara

 PIALA MALAYSIA

 o ale ale, ale ale tok gajahku"

a touch-and-go update

updates for these few weeks.

alhamdulillah. get over and done with pmr. thank you Allah for everything. although it was rather not a good start, i mean a few days before the exam commenced. was so hectic. felt like collapsing. thank you Allah for the strength. almost (but actually did) cried due to stressful days i had at school. got too emotional. pms, i guess. let bygone be bygone. tak mau ingat dah. 

my parents went to menunaikan haji. was feeling sad and was about to cry but i managed to not to cry. i didnt want them to see me crying over their leave. beloved mak and bah, semoga mendapat haji yang mabrur. worrying over my dad's health. he's doing not that well due to his asthmatic problem. oh Allah, grant him good health, please. cant wait for them to be home.

so, i celebrated hari raya qurban without my family around. my granny was in raub. my sister in kedah with her in-laws. but yes, i am grateful to have my in-laws by my side.  

today, am still on hols. going to start working tomorrow. arghh, how i wish the hols is longer. 

hoping for a good day tomorrow. as have been through not-so-good days lately. thank God there will be no p&p tomorrow that we have our qurban program. 

thanks Allah for all the good things. 

meroyan

tanpa sedar, i dah meroyan kat my students this noon. sebab dieorang boleh melepak kat pondok sedangkan they knew they got class at that time. my class. 

they deliberately did that supaya they came in late. they looovvee to do that. tawaf satu sekolah dulu sebelum masuk kelas. have no idea what the point of doing that. 

i was shouting my heart out. dah lama tak buat camtu. terkeluar suara jantan. tak pikir dah muka macam serigala mase tu. sebab i reached my boiling point.

what made me lost my temper was they are form 3 students. yes, pmr candidates. and pmr is just around the corner. five days je lagi. kenape lah mereka tak sedar-sedar.

sume ni kan salah cikgu kan. definitely. punca pelajar ponteng is sikap guru. choiiii.

sistem pengurusan sekolah

just finished filling in my personal details in the new sistem pengurusan sekolah. a new system - an addition to our sufferings that we teachers already have.

this new system is a replacement for the systems - e-mis, e-operasi and opmen. and for class teachers, this is the new apdm ( which has only been established in less than four years a ago).

what's worst is we have to fill in all or our personal details all over again. argh. what a stressful job to do. why dont they just import the information from the old systems. just dont get it why we have to do the same thing over and over and over and over again. for your information, we have plenty of work to be done.

bottom line, saya yang menurut perintah. 

gudnite.

come back

alhamdulillah. recovered my blog. how i miss my mariposa. it's been ages since i last posted an entry. 

no post at all in 2012. well, guess i was a busy bee last year. was assigned as the secretary for PMR examination., the answer for my hectic life. 

but deep inside, i know i miss blogging. and yes, here i am. blogging again.

a lot of things happened in 2012. but most of all, that made me a happy king was the birth of my pretty cousin arissa in november. it was the most amazing thing happened in my life last year. she's a little angel sent by God from heaven. 

cute, isn't it? that's her. my current obsession. hurm and i'm still praying (hard) for my own angel to be born.

shall stop now. adios.

SPP interview

alhamdulillah. i dah lulus interview SPP untuk pelantikan ke jawatan tetap. lega sangat.

on that morning, pukul 4 pagi i dah terjaga. malam tu dah memang tak tido lena. bangun2 je terus sakit perut. takut punye pasal.

i memang ade masalah anxiety disorder. nervous gile nak interview. study macam nak separuh gile. last2 satu pun tak ditanya hehe.

NKRA, PIPP, NPE, RMK-10. sumenye i study. tapi tak ditanya pon.

2 jam jugak kat dalam bilik interview tu. tapi sebab sekali masuk 6 orang, so kurang la ckit nervous tu. lagipun panel tu suke sharing. die pun banyak cakap. tadah jela.

alhamdulillah sumenye berjalan lancar.

at the end of the interview, sebelum he let us out, die kasitau die tidak menggagalkan sesiapa. meaning sume lulus lah. alhamdulillah.

thank you Allah.

jangan pernah berubah

cintaku padamu begitu besar
namun kau tak pernah bisa merasakan

it's holiday, yay

alhamdulillah. pejam celik pejam celik, dah abes first term of schooling. and dah 4 months i menjadi seorang cekgu (bertauliah). how time flies. phew. and what's more exciting is....it's school holiday. how come, cekgu yang excited terlebih when holiday comes.

so far, although baru 4 months jadi cekgu, alhamdulillah rasenye macam banyak sangat pengalaman yang dah ditimba. the good side of heavy workload that i have despite the other side of it.

and surprisingly, i teach science better than English. seriously, walaupun i rase i ajar science macam tunggang-langgang sikit, yelah i opsyen English not science, tapi results for science untuk mid-year exam baru-baru ni agak memberangsangkan. one student got A for science but none for English. what say you?

but i look at it from a different point of view. there are ample factors yang mempengaruhi results for English. the students' background and environment are effing vital factors that influence their English. exposure is very little. it is seriously a killer subject. more time needed, i believe.

alrite, alrite. holiday means holiday. nothing about work should be mentioned here (supposedly). happy holidays everyone. enjoy.

1st anniversary

thank you Allah. what a beautiful year You have granted us with. i'm so blessed.

thank you for a beautiful year. may You grant us with more beautiful years. and may the beauty last forever.

happy first anniversary to us. thank you abang for those awesome days together. hope to spend my lifetime with you, now and thereafter. insyaAllah.

pawana

Pawana ku hadir kini

Mendekati batas usang
Ku terasa salju cinta lalu
Dalam titis-titis hujan
Bagaimana aku harus menghalusi jiwa
Untuk terus idup dalam nafas suci
Terpaksa aku terbang jauh lagi

Terkadang aku jatuh dan menangis
Terkadang aku rebah tak daya berdiri
Ku gentas bunga di perantauan
Membalut luka hati
Melindungiku dari resah yang menghujan

Pawana ku hadir kini
Mendekati batas usang
Ku terasa salju cinta lalu
Dalam titis-titis hujan
Bagaimana aku harus menghalusi jiwa
Untuk terus idup dalam nafas suci
Terpaksa aku terbang jauh lagi

Terkadang aku jatuh dan menangis
Terkadang aku rebah tak daya berdiri
Ku gentas bunga di perantauan
Membalut calar luka hati
Melindungku dari resah yang menghujan

Di saat pilu lara itu kasih…
Aku gagahi melangkah
Selagi dirahmati
Aku mengorak harapan

Terkadang aku jatuh dan menangis
Terkadang aku rebah tak daya berdiri
Ku gentas bunga di perantauan
Membalut calar luka hati
Melindungi dari resah yang menghujan

u deserve it

yes. you deserve it, indeed. you are no 1, chong wei. i am extremely excited over our no 1 badminton player, dato' lee chong wei's win to china's player lin dan last nite. it was awesome. a big congrats to you, chong wei. you have made us proud.

this is especially sebab chong wei dan lin dan da macam musuh tradisi. sapa yang lagi hebat sebenarnye? both of them have their own strengths and weaknesses, i guess. but last night's match was definitely tough, challenging. dua-dua player pon sama hebat.

and i had the chance to watch the match at a restaurant together with other people, yang i sendiri pun tak kenal. tapi sangat-sangat happening. meriah sangat. bile chong wei dapat point, sume orang bersorak and clapped their hands. and i ter-over la plak when i just cant help myself from shouting. it was cool, though. but, how would it be like bila orang-orang lain kat kedai tu tahu yang menjerit tu ialah seorang cikgu. hehe.

btw, i was overwhelmed dengan kemenangan chong wei. thank you chong wei for bringing our country's name to the world stage. thank you for playing such well. well done.

how i miss u

rindu. sangat rindu. my grandma pergi menunaikan umrah last friday. she went with my uncle's family. sadly, i did not have the chance untuk hantar dia kat airport. i kerja. last jumpe dia was last two weeks.

sampai-sampai sana, my pak ngah sms bagitau baggage nenek i hilang. kesian plak. yelah, orang tua. dengar cite sampai hari ni pun tak jumpe-jumpe lagi. i pray that her baggage could be found a.s.a.p. insyaAllah.

on that day, before she on board, i called and talked to her. nak mintak dia tolong doakan depan Kaabah. doakan i cepat dapat baby hehe. tapi belum sempat i cakap, dia da tahu ape yang i nak. harap-harap my grandma tak lupe la sume yang dia nak doakan.

rite now, i just hope that she is in good health so that she could beribadah peacefully. and may her baggage is somewhere to be found. insyaAllah.

one month

phew. after one month being a teacher, i am totally a busy woman now. as busy as a bee. seriously. terasa macam tak cukup 24 hours je untuk sehari. boleh tak add on a few more hours to a day? please.

i leave home at 6.15 everyday and will only be at home at around 4 pm. tiring. it's like i'm working according to office working hours, ayte?

however, i feel good to be around my kids. i am the form teacher of Form 1 Cemerlang. i have lovely kids even though a few are stubborn and hard-headed and lazy and do-not-have-motivation-to-study. what a pity.

sumore. although aku first posting, tapi da pegang macam-macam jawatan. in short, so far da sebulan jadi cekgu, seriously penat yang teramat sangat. i hope time fly faster. and i am 55 now haha.

finally, i got posted

berdebar-debar sangat tadi menunggu surat penempatan. kiteorang di"paksa" tunggu sehingga tamat sesi taklimat dan orientasi, barulah kiteorang diberitahu sekolah masing-masing. sesungguhnya penantian itu satu penyeksaan. kiteorang menunggu dari pukul 8 pagi dan hanya dapat tau sekolah pada pukul 1 tengah hari.

btw, saya bersyukur sangat. walaupun agak jauh, 50km, tapi is still in daerah pekan dan bole berulang kott. alhamdulillah i am posted to Sek. Komprehensif K9, SK Bandar 2 Paloh Hinai, Pekan.

actually sekolah ni is a primary school, tapi disisipkan form 1 - 3. tadi sempat have a brief talk dengan wakil guru besar sekolah tu. katanya saya akan mengajar pelajar-pelajar asli. dan the emphasis is put on remedial-based lessons. so, saya kena pasti dan fokus dengan tugas saya di sekolah tu nanti. challenging kan.

saya berdoa semoga segala urusan saya dipermudahkan, bermula dengan 1) perjalanan (agak jauh) saya berulang-alik setiap hari pergi ke dan balik dari sekolah, 2) adaptation with the school environment and community 3) menjalankan tugas sebagai seorang guru english 4) dan sebangainya. amin.

Awan Nano

Lihat ke arah sana

Serakan warna dan berarakan
Awan
Pabila terik panas
Segera hadirnya memayungi diri

Pabila kau dahaga
Sesegera turun hujan melimpahkan kasihnya
Pabila kau katakan
Akulah awan itu yang kau mahu

Begitulah awan nano
Setia melindungi diri
Tika panas mencuba menggores pipi
Dan bibirmu

Begitulah awan nano
Sering saja tak terduga hadir
Dan tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Kasihnya
Kasih tiada banding
Setia tiada tara
Bagaimanapun jua

Awan kekasih sebenarmu sayang
Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Lihat diriku ini
Yang sesekali pernah kau bagaikan awan
Sehingga tak mungkin terlupa
Berikan belas sedari dulu

Sehingga tak mungkin termampu saksi
Setitis pun air matamu kasihku
Sehingga kau katakan
Akulah awan itu yang kau rindu

Akulah awanmu yang sedia
Melindungi dirimu tika panas mencuba menggores pipi
Dan bibirmu

Akulah awanmu yang sering kau rindu
Dan tak terduga hadirmu walau tak tercapai jejarimu

Kasihku
Kasih tiada banding setia tiada tara
Bagaimanapun jua
Aku pelindung dirimu sayang
Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Begitulah awan nano
Setia melindungi diri tika panas mencuba menggores pipi
Dan bibirmu

Begitulah awan nano
Sering saja tak terduga hadir
Dan tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Kasihku
Kasih tiada banding setia tiada tara
Bagaimanapun jua
Aku pelindung dirimu sayang
Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

teddy bear

hehe. dulu-dulu kalau orang tanye saya "seronok tak kawin?", saya jawab "seronok". itu aje. tapi tak tau nak bagi reason kenapa kawin itu seronok.

tapi sekarang, dengan yakinnye saya dah ade jawapan yang mantap. saya selalu ulang cakap ayat ni kat hubby saya "abang tau tak, ibu seronok sangat kawin ngan abang. ibu rase macam ibu dapat mainan, macam dapat teddy bear besar."

seriously. rase macam dapat teddy bear. yang lagi syok, teddy bear tu boleh bercakap hehe. i just cant stop disturbing him. and disturbing him. and again and again.

i just cant bear looking at him lying on the sofa watching tv. i always want to go near him and bite his arm and something like that haha. pinch his nose. geletek him. best kan. tak boring.

those who are married mesti setuju kan. and those yang belum, once you got married, i promise you'll say YES ;)

finally

alhamdulillah. finally my posting letter is here. the waiting has ended.

insyaAllah, lapor diri kat JPN pahang di kuantan. 7 feb, 2011, jam 8.30 pagi. nervous gile.

dalam surat tu ade tulis, sebarang pertanyaan mengenai nama sekolah anda ditempatkan sebelum tarikh lapor diri tidak akan dipertimbangkan. meaning there's no chance i would know the school earlier.

ya Allah, semoga Kau makbulkan doaku. amin.

it's pahang

alhamdulillah. thank you Allah for got me posted to pahang, finally. the place where i really wanna be.

and hopefully, i will be assigned to a school in pekan area. i really, really wanna teach in pekan.

may Allah hear me. and may wish come true. amin.

kindergarten

Memandangkan semalam hari cuti, boring kalau duduk terperap kat umah jek. So kiteorang decided nak pergi Kuantan. Destinasi kiteorang ialah sebuah rumah di bukit rangin. Yes. Rumah alyaa amani. Alyaa tinggal dua orang je dengan mummy dia. Daddy dia pergi penang pagi semalam. Rindunye kat alyaa. Lame betol dah tak jumpe die. Da makin tinggi dan matured.

Borak2 dengan mummy alyaa pasal alyaa’s new kindergarten. Kindergarten tu baru buka this year and only has 12 students for now. Actually, saya memang berminat nak buka business kindergarten sebab i like kids. Yeah, dream on babe. Kerja pon belum lagi. Kontrak pon belum bermula. At least kalau nak start business pon, kena la tunggu abes kontrak dulu kan.

Haritu kat Wanita Hari Ini, ade discuss topik “pra-sekolah mahal”. Mummy alyaa cakap “hurmm. Memang mahal. Macam nak masuk university”. Ohh ok. Mummy alyaa pon share her experiences in searching for pre-school yang suitable for alyaa.

Memang mahal pon. Terkejut saya dengar. (Private) pre-school memang sangat costly nowadays. Mummy alyaa cite dia sempat survey three schools around kuantan termasuk skola alyaa yang kat UMP tu. Yang paling mahal, yuran sekolah yang perlu dibayar sekali for the whole year is RM2ooo and monthly fee lain plak, RM2oo. Wallllllllaaaweehhh. Bengkok camtu. The other school, yuran setahun dalam rm1ooo++ and monthly rm1oo++. Nampaknye sume memang area tu lah harganye. Kaya beb kalau jadi tauke kindergarten.

Mula terfikir tentang my future (bila da ade anak nanti). Haruslah saya nak yang terbaik untuk anak saya. Siap duit je la. Just like one of the guest in Wanita Hari Ini cakap “kalau apa yang saya dapat berbaloi dengan harga yang saya bayar, why not. If we want the best for our children, kite tak bole berkira”. Betol betol betol.

I believe mase umur 4-6 years tu la memang betol2 kena provide kids with strong foundation sebelum dieorang enter primary school. These days, most kids yang masuk standard one da pandai serba-serbi. ABC, 123, spelling and silap2 da boleh membaca. Fuhhhh, memang cabaran. Cuba fikirkan, kalau our kids takde basic sedangkan budak2 lain memang da reti sume tu, memang akan left behind dalam class.

The moral of the story is, provide your kiddos with enough preparation before they enter school and you prepare the money. That’s it.