sakit rumah

homesick. wish i was at home; at home now and will forever be at home.

phase one done

haaaaa..thank God all observations for this phase one done :)

i was observed twice today. tough and stressful, isnt it?

alhamdulillah everything went well and smoothly.

yes, as expected, i got few comments regarding classroom management. i anticipated that. i accept all the comments with arm open wide cause i know i was there to learn. and nobody's perfect.

i tried to control myself from being too nervous by selawat to beloved prophet Muhammad S.A.W. over and over again. that's what i always do. what i learnt from my dad.

since we have hari kokurikulum tomorrow, i'm looking forward to enjoying myself at school (hopefully).

and i'm really looking forward to being home this weekend, enjoying durian.

innalillah

innalillahi wainna ilai hi rajiun. one of my beloved uncle has gone to see his eternal Love.

I felt so sad since I never had the chance to visit him even after I came back to Malaysia.

the last time I met him was on the day I flew to Aussie, 13th Feb 2008. almost 2 and a half years ago. few days after that, he collapsed and was in half conscious condition until last sunday. yes it was very sad.

i pray to Allah may he is always be blessed there. my pray will always be with u ayah long. thanxalot for everything. i feel terrible that i dont have the chance to pay back all your kindness to me.

dear Athirah...,

dear Athirah,

happy 21st birthday ;)
may Allah always bless you
no word can describe how much i love you, my one and only sister

faster, please

at this time, all i wish is only for the time to fly faster. as fast as it could. please.

more than happy

alhamdulillah. my first lesson with 4K1 this morning was certainly a beautiful moment. i'm glad they enjoy my class. my heart blooms to hear one of the boy said "i really had a good time, teacher". meaning that i was successful to make my english class a fun lesson.

i know it's only the first time i entered the class. but at least it makes my day. i am more than happy now. i know i cant be too comfortable with the situation as it's just the beginning. anything might happen.

the most touching moment that really makes me feel like burst into tears was when the class monitor, a very nice girl, said "i like you, teacher". i feel appreciated as a teacher.

another good thing also happened today when i got a new class. i am given 4K2 instead of 4K3. thank you Allah. i know You know me very well and You really know my capability.

i pray to Allah wishing that i am strong enough to finish my practicum. insyaAllah.

grief

i would say that my practicum did not turn out to be like what i expected it to be. sad. frustrated. and i feel so down right now.

what makes me feel so sad is that the students do not have the courtesy to respect their teachers. even more me the trainee teacher. i dont like to shout at people as i dont like being shouted at. but they make me shout at them. not being harsh to them but a little bit firm. just to gain their respect.

but there's nothing much i can do when they themselves dont wanna study. "you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink".

sometimes, i just cannot deny the voice inside me that tells me every single day " i was not born to be a teacher".

ya Allah, semoga Kau permudahkan segala urusan dalam kehidupanku. aku bertawakal kepadaMu.