ayah long

i was on the phone with my mum just now. aku tergerak hati nak tanye mak pasal ayah long nuar. ayah sedara aku yang sakit. sedih bile ingat pasal die.

last year, mase aku fly 13th Feb 08, die datang airport jumpe aku. beberapa hari selepas tu, die koma secara tiba2. sume orang tak tahu punca atau penyakit sebenar die. lama sangat die koma. tapi dengan kuasa Tuhan, die sedar semula setelah koma hampir setahun. alhamdulillah.

die sedar semula mase tu dah hujung tahun rasenye. tapi, dia still tak boleh bangun, bercakap and makan macam biasa. die terbaring jek. makan pun guna salur. sedih sangat. nenek aku selalu cakap "mak tak lena tidur malam kalau teringat kat ayah long".

yang aku paling ralat, aku tak sempat pon nak lawat die mase aku balik cuti hari tu. aku nie selfish bila aku pikir2 smule. aku balik almost 3 months, tapi tak penah sekali pon aku lawat die.

tapi, aku patah kaki sebab mak ayah aku tak tahu jalan nak pegi umah die. selalunye pergi sekali dengan pak ngah sebab pak ngah tahu jalan. lagipon, jarak adalah salah satu faktor yang menyebabkan aku tak berkesempatan nak pergi melawat dia.

sekarang, dah almost setahun ayah long sedar, tapi dia masih atas katil terbaring. aku rase sedih sangat setiap kali aku teringat kat dia. aku sentiasa mendoakan kesihatan die. balik nanti, aku nak sangat pergi tengok die. insyaAllah.

rain rain go away

this morning, aku celik2 mata nengok hari gelap je. dalam hati aku berkata, aku bangun awal harini. aku amek handphone nak tengok jam, wahhh awal la sangat. dah tengah hari rupenye. hari suram and gelap jek sebab hujan.

hujan memang buat aku demotivated untuk bangun dari katil. mind set dah cakap, kalau hujan sedap tido. tapi aku bangun jugak, sebab dah cukup 8 jam aku tido.

worse, hujan buat aku homesick. aku memang emotionally unstable at this moment. pms kot. nape aku homesick nie. tak suke la camnie. tak lame dah nak balik pon. haih.

love actually

the title is after the movie starred by hottie hugh grant. auuww he's so damn hot.

okay, let's get back on track.

semalam aku called mak bagitau yang permohonan aku untuk balik awal for good dah approved. yay. alhamdulillah. dah tak sabar rasenye.

mak tanye "balik sorang ke? nanti pergi airport sorang2 ke?". hurm. all this while, i thought mak tak pernah risau pasal aku. and i thought mak tak pernah kesah kalau aku balik sorang.

tapi semalam i know that she cares about me actually. but, i was uncertain. samaada mak underestimate aku sebab aku manja and sangat tak independent. so, mak risau aku might lost kat airport (this sounds ridiculous but it's true). or, mak risaukan aku sebab i'm going back alone.

be positive. she cares about me. because she loves me. mak bukan jenis yang tunjukkan kasih sayang kat anak2 sebenarnya. but now, i can see her love for me.

and all i can say, you dont have to tell someone you love them. and you dont have to show them your love for them. our lOvE ActUaLlY will show without our realisation. and it means alot when it is unintentinally shown.

penantian satu penyeksaan

aku resah sangat sekarang. sebabnye aku tak dapat ape2 respon lagi daripada pihak kementerian pasal aku mohon balik awal tu. risau ni. sebab kawan aku dah dapat email respon.

hati dah meronta2 nak balik. jasad aku je ade kat sydney ni, hati memang dah kat umah. there' s so much to take care of. banyak benda yang aku kena buat. tak sabarnye nak balik.

aku harap2 dapat lah balik awal seperti yang aku nak tu. aku nak sangat attend wedding g and ila on the 27th and 28th november. nak amek berkat la katanye huhu.

aku dah buat ape yang patut. sekarang aku kenal tawakal kat Tuhan. ya Allah, permudahkan lah segala urusan kami. amin.

one of the important days

i woke up this morning with a wide smile on my face.
i knew it's going to be an important day for me.
hopefully, sumenye berjalan lancar. amin.

reflection

aku percaya setiap yang berlaku tu ade hikmahnye. walaupun kadang2 hikmah tue tak datang immediately, atau maybe kita yang tak perasan wujudnye hikmah tue.

aku bersyukur menjadi diri aku sekarang. ade hikmahnye ape yang terjadi pada keluarga aku suatu masa dulu. kalau benda tue tak jadi, mungkin aku bukan macam diri aku sekarang. nauzubillah.

mungkin dulu2 aku tak nampak hikmah tu, tapi sekarang baru aku paham. thank u Allah. semua yang Kau telah rancangkan untukku sangat indah.

from this moment on

I do swear that I'll always be there.
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow,
for better for worse, I will love you with
every beat of my heart

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

blessed Friday

alhamdulillah. i've got a good news today ;) . i'm certainly happy and pleased with it. thank you Allah for the good news. and may this bliss lasts forever. amin.

look back

sometimes I feel like letting go,
but when I look back
and see why I held on to you in the first place,
it gives me all the more reason to tighten my grip

these words are taken from a friend's facebook status. i found it very precious cos it has a very deep meaning to me, though it might has different meaning to the writer. but i like it.

pening

kenapalah camnie. tersepit aku rase. hati dua2 belah pihak aku kena jaga. susahnye aku nak bersuara.

sebelah pihak tak memahami. sebelah lagi dah berbunyi. aku yang kat tengah2 nie gak yang suffer.

tapi, aku cakap pon orang tak mau dengar. aku rase insignificant.

ya Allah, permudahkanlah segala urusan kami.

sedih

my happiness gone. it comes and goes in a twinkling of one's eyes. why???

thank God

alhamdulillah. thank you Allah. i am extremely happy. i can sleep with a smile on my face now ;)

far

argh. daylight saving started today. i dont like it. it makes me even far from my home country. the time difference between sydney and malaysia is now 3 hours.

fortunately, it's only few weeks left for me to be here. i'm going back for good so soon. yay ;)

yay, cik diya balik

orang bilang

Kamu bilang padaku
Bahwa kamu benar sayang
Kau bilang aku
Kau akan selalu sayang
Dan kamu bilang
Aku cinta kamu sayang

Kamu bilang padaku
Bahwa kamu benar cinta
Kau bilang aku
Kau akan selalu cinta
Dan kamu bilang
Aku sayang kamu cinta

Tapi orang bilang
Katanya kamu enggak sayang
Orang bilang
Katanya kamu enggak cinta
Orang bilang
Tentang kamu orang bilang

Sekarang kamu bilang
Bahwa kamu paling sayang
Sekarang bilang
Bahwa kamu paling cinta
Sekarang bilang
Aku siap mati sayang…

please

frankly speaking, i am annoyed by your stupid actions. RIMAS. dont you realise it??

please leave me alone. i'm begging you. tolonglah reti bahasa.

cari pacar lagi

lagu nie bagus banget, video clip pon entertaining......,